I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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