Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
