I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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