What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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