is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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