marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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