I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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