Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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