he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize