i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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