Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
