I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
