Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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