You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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