I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
