Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
