i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize