There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize