Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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