i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
