when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
