He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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