EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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