Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
