im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
