i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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