Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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