No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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