She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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