So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
