Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
