Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
