The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
