Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
