I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
