dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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