o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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