i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
All I want is dick and wine.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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