ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
