no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dignity is for republicans.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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