Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
