You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
