When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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