think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
