sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
