i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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