trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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