But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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