a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
