There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
