let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
