That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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