omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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