i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
