Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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