Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
