Define "chronic" masturbator.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
