i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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