I like my sex mixed with concussions.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
