tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
