nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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