i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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