Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
