why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
