that's an acceptable place to lick
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize