i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
